2014

First day of the year 2014 is just like any other rest day of mine. Wake up early in the morning, go back to bed and continued my sleep t'il late morning. Wake up and have brunch with mom, get back home and get a book to read on. Perhaps, occasion day dreaming as usual and get myself a cup of coffee in a cafe.

Perhaps I was being a pretty moody young lady lately. I hardly do any summary of a year though. But let's see what had I did in year 2013..

I said I won't drink for the year 2013 and received a feedback, best joke of the year. Haha. Perhaps, they know me too well.. How could I live without alcohol? Let's see.. I went to 2 wedding dinners of the cousins with my sis in law, n she knew me well enough too. Every time when I came back from ladies, there'll be a glass of wine waiting for me without fail. Hahaha. Apart from the look, I get this gene from my dad too, I guess.

I too said that my 2013 resolution was to get more feminine. Hmmm, I could still remember Jan keep calling me:" Yo, Boy!'... Aiks... That declared my failure of becoming more feminine metamorphosis. To me, Jan is a pretty honest man that I could rely on as a judge in this sense. Question, why I trust him so much? Must be insane, me. Well, not really. Of all people, he has the least reason to tell me a lie.

I am just being myself for the past year. When Dar was being bullied, I stood up for her. Hmm, that was rather a remarkable incident that I did last year. I too can't believe what I had did too. But why, of all people, that B***** (I hate to name people in that way the most, trust me), have to do such thing to my Dar. I could hardly take on my anger, that I decided to text her. We talked over the phone, and I lose my ground of faith. At the end of the conversation, I blessed her. How could I? Well, off course I lose, because I'm never good at physiology war (no wonder my brother keep teasing that I'm way too young and inexperienced, n Jan once told me that I’ll meet different kind of people in my life). That night, I drank with Dar (as you can see, I can never live my life without drinking....)

Thereafter is the most awaited national election of the country. The result was so unexpected and so hard to accept. I lost my mind and almost fight my way to not to work on that superb blue Monday morning. At the end, I stayed at home as it is a declared public holiday for Penang state. I shed my tear in front of the laptop upon reading the news. My mom was worried about me, so much so that she cooked me lunch and served it right under my nose to my surprise. Thanks mom, your care for me hit right at my heart. Still, unable to accept the fact and being too furious, I told dar that she should have stayed at Australia for good. Shortly after that, she was send back to Australia as my tongue spoke. How I wished I didn’t said that.

2013 was such a working life year. Work, work, work and work. Guess it was because I was too tense that I danced the whole night during our first unofficial anniversary. That night, I was surrounded by my group of friends as usual. We danced on the floor and up the stage again. Yet without my legendary T-shirt, short pant and slipper.. haha..

ROS team auditing followed by Audit team auditing really runs me crazy and tense to the max. I was indeed glad that I swim through it without any thunderstorm. *hand clap* I was tensed up, so much so that I decided to buy the air ticket to Macau without much thought. It was originally a one-lady backpack trip. End up, one plus one equal two. Thank you for your accompany, Jan. It was you that make me realized thing that I refused to admit.

Thing changed after the trip. I drew things closer to my ownself. Trying to end relationship that had no ending. Being blunt and emotional for a short period of time. Trying to figure out what kind of life I want for myself. Perhaps it wasn’t too bad being alone, sometimes.  

Again, there’s someone that walked by my tiny glass heart. He might be the right person, and he might not be. On the last few hour of the year, you told me that I had changed from the ‘Me’ that you first knew. I’m tired. You wouldn’t want me to step in any closer and you drew the line. I am way too emotion and can’t control how I felt like a yoyo. I decided to step back and freed you as you wished. Isn’t it good to have it this way?

This year, I want to be more feminine. No more boy boy style please. Because, I ain't a tomboy. =D I hope I can do it. Being more female in my own way.. I will try to b a good girl as far as I can. Not getting people around me worrying about me. =)