First
day of the year 2014 is just like any other rest day of mine. Wake up early in
the morning, go back to bed and continued my sleep t'il late morning. Wake up
and have brunch with mom, get back home and get a book to read on. Perhaps,
occasion day dreaming as usual and get myself a cup of coffee in a cafe.
Perhaps
I was being a pretty moody young lady lately. I hardly do any summary of a year
though. But let's see what had I did in year 2013..
I
said I won't drink for the year 2013 and received a feedback, best joke of the
year. Haha. Perhaps, they know me too well.. How could I live without alcohol?
Let's see.. I went to 2 wedding dinners of the cousins with my sis in law, n
she knew me well enough too. Every time when I came back from ladies, there'll
be a glass of wine waiting for me without fail. Hahaha. Apart from the look, I
get this gene from my dad too, I guess.
I
too said that my 2013 resolution was to get more feminine. Hmmm, I could still
remember Jan keep calling me:" Yo, Boy!'... Aiks... That declared my
failure of becoming more feminine metamorphosis. To me, Jan is a pretty honest
man that I could rely on as a judge in this sense. Question, why I trust him so
much? Must be insane, me. Well, not really. Of all people, he has the least
reason to tell me a lie.
I
am just being myself for the past year. When Dar was being bullied, I stood up
for her. Hmm, that was rather a remarkable incident that I did last year. I too
can't believe what I had did too. But why, of all people, that B***** (I hate
to name people in that way the most, trust me), have to do such thing to my
Dar. I could hardly take on my anger, that I decided to text her. We talked
over the phone, and I lose my ground of faith. At the end of the conversation, I
blessed her. How could I? Well, off course I lose, because I'm never good at
physiology war (no wonder my brother keep teasing that I'm way too young and
inexperienced, n Jan once told me that I’ll meet different kind of people in my
life). That night, I drank with Dar (as you can see, I can never live my life
without drinking....)
Thereafter
is the most awaited national election of the country. The result was so
unexpected and so hard to accept. I lost my mind and almost fight my way to not
to work on that superb blue Monday morning. At the end, I stayed at home as it
is a declared public holiday for Penang state. I shed my tear in front of the
laptop upon reading the news. My mom was worried about me, so much so that she
cooked me lunch and served it right under my nose to my surprise. Thanks mom,
your care for me hit right at my heart. Still, unable to accept the fact and
being too furious, I told dar that she should have stayed at Australia for
good. Shortly after that, she was send back to Australia as my tongue spoke. How
I wished I didn’t said that.
2013
was such a working life year. Work, work, work and work. Guess it was because I
was too tense that I danced the whole night during our first unofficial
anniversary. That night, I was surrounded by my group of friends as usual. We danced
on the floor and up the stage again. Yet without my legendary T-shirt, short
pant and slipper.. haha..
ROS
team auditing followed by Audit team auditing really runs me crazy and tense to
the max. I was indeed glad that I swim through it without any thunderstorm.
*hand clap* I was tensed up, so much so that I decided to buy the air ticket to
Macau without much thought. It was originally a one-lady backpack trip. End up,
one plus one equal two. Thank you for your accompany, Jan. It was you that make
me realized thing that I refused to admit.
Thing
changed after the trip. I drew things closer to my ownself. Trying to end
relationship that had no ending. Being blunt and emotional for a short period
of time. Trying to figure out what kind of life I want for myself. Perhaps it
wasn’t too bad being alone, sometimes.
Again,
there’s someone that walked by my tiny glass heart. He might be the right
person, and he might not be. On the last few hour of the year, you told me that
I had changed from the ‘Me’ that you first knew. I’m tired. You wouldn’t want
me to step in any closer and you drew the line. I am way too emotion and can’t
control how I felt like a yoyo. I decided to step back and freed you as you
wished. Isn’t it good to have it this way?
This
year, I want to be more feminine. No more boy boy style please. Because, I
ain't a tomboy. =D I hope I can do it. Being more female in my own way.. I will
try to b a good girl as far as I can. Not getting people around me worrying about
me. =)
