原本打算不要再上Fb了，因为想静一静，不想去追看他今天在做什么，想什么，看看过去他的照片。

结果，一开Fb就看到他的status.

别怀疑，就是那么的巧。。。。

Day 6 of 2011-double side of me

Today were both a enjoyin and a bad day for me. I enjoy the whole day with my fren. Bringing her all around the place where I m familiar-place i used to lurk around with. Eatin a lot of stuff which is nice n cheap. ^^ releasing stress for the 2 3rd of my day.

The worst part come wen I attend a meeting. Honestly, don feel like talkin abt it. I m so sensitive I found out. Obviously, I did regret for wat I said to the person as well. Juz like dar dar say, nex time before I even talk wen I am feelin my own temper, it is nice to chill myself down first. N listen to wat my heart say.

Day 5 of 2011-full of excitement

Today was a busy day with a lot of going around. Wen to kao cha in the morning. We went to kek lok si and Georgetown. I actually predicted tat this test run would hav assume a day time duration. Yet, my partners were all very exhausted. Especially miss Q. she had meetin til 5am in the morning. So, I decided to go thru this test run quick. So tat can get back earlier n let her hav more sleep. I was actually lucky that I had plan this test run a little bit by bringing my younger brother around the area before this in the holiday ^^

audition

Today I just came back from an audition. But not as a participant, as a judge indeed. wow, the feelin was so great. N also, I did learn something in return. At least now I know wat r the criteria tat one will look for wen they interview the person. Capability is important, but a lot of people are missing out another thing. Attitude is equivalently important. It represents yourself right in front of me without even having to refer to your intro you had juz written in the paper minutes ago. Impressive isn’t it? Now I get the meaning of wat my lecture told me a year ago. N I am glad. I wasn’t too late to realize these fact. Let juz pray that my incoming interview will be safe and sound. (prayin hard)

SteambOat for Day 2 of Year 2011

Wow, this s a great day for me as well. Having a steamboat. Well to be more precise, it is organizing a steamboat. I used to sit and home n waitin for my mum to finish cookin for me and call me. But today, it was a bit different. I m in the kitchen. Surprise.

But u still need to purchase the ingredient before u even start cookin right? N here we go, we went to an afternoon market near komtar. N we had brought the fishball worth 70 buck. Wow. It is a lot. N after all the purchasing done in both market as well as tesco, we went bac to the place where we will hav the steamboat. N start preparing.

Still, the fishball was juz nice to feed everyone n make them I would say, 80% full. So we purchase again. Well, a little bit of unplanned purchasing. I was way too stingy while my fren was too ‘da fang’-he din even check the price before he buy a thing. Wow….. I could hardly do that.

Afterall, back in kitchen. It was a busy day in kitchen for me that day. But I din help much with the clearing. My duty was to cook the soap all the while. Haha. Luckily another gal was there, or else the kitchen will be messy like hell. Still, I am a bit guilty as I need to hurried home- I am a modern Cinderella. ^^

Night fall n it’s another end of a day. This is a fun and busy day. Still, I enjoy it. The laughter of all of them who present is a compliment to us ^^

寂寞

刚刚，老妈和老弟出门了那一下下。
自己在客厅里看戏。
突然，觉得很寂寞，
好像少了样东西。。
总觉得，老妈不在时，家的感觉就不一样。
我是不是有恋母情怀哦？？
但是我不是巨蟹座的。。

忙碌的时间

最近真的有点忙，都常常不在家，真的就得很不对，因为我少了时间陪妈妈。。有点过意不去。。有时候早上妈妈等我一起去吃早餐，哪里知道我的电话一响，我又要去做工了。。那妈妈不就早上白白让自己肚子饿了吗？？惭愧惭愧。。

妈妈，我真的好想有更多时间陪陪你。。

doggy，i miss you..

haiz.. that day, i'm crying like nuts..

i miss the german serpert so much..

you might curious why i am so sad right?

actually, i am phobia of dog.. ( i had been chase by 3 dog at the same time during childhood.. that is what ppl say childhood phobia.. since then i am damm scare of dog)

but when i went to my bro farm, he release the dog.. OMG.. i stunt there.. then the german serpert approach me slowly.. mayb he can sense my fear.. so that is why lo.. then when i pat his head, he is like so enjoy...

oh, now i know why he keep on barking whenever he sees there is a visitor.. and that is also the reason why my bro say the dog eq is juz 3 yrs old kid.. so pempered..

but on fri went i wen to the farm and din see him, i am so sad.. i felt like losing something important to me... now i understand why some people cry so badly when their dogs pass away.. i cry for the whole morning.. i am so sad... i am curious as well.. why am i so attach with that dog alone?

doggy i miss you.. hope can see you soon.. ( coz now he is in the new home liao.. ）

放弃吗？离开吗？

真的很舍不得

不舍的再生她的气

不舍得再和她的关系僵硬

不舍这一段情

或许曾经气她

或许她会再背叛我

但心里还是会原谅她

是自己的心太软吗

我真的很没有用吧

越大就越不争气

原谅她吧，心里终会如此地说

不自觉地就心软了

鸡蛋里挑骨头

做人呢，还是得过且过得好。如果真的要什么事都要那么的完美无瑕。。那我会建议你陪陪我一起去小农场帮我打理打理一下。。

我要做的东西并不多，喂鸡和鹅吃。但是，还没有喂它们前，你要进去鹅的地区，那里有一间一间的鸡笼。。你要在鸡笼里拿水桶，要注意鸡会琢你时，还要注意鹅。。危险。。拿了水桶就要洗，装水，再放回去鸡笼里。再一次注意鸡和鹅。。顺便可以喂鸡。。要注意，有时鸡会飞出来。。吓死我。。我已经是有够怕的了，又飞出来吓我。。我的手震到。。。

喂了它们就要冲洗狗狗的便便。。狗我怕，但是怕也要做。。没办法了，只有硬着头皮咯。

你猜猜做这么琐碎的是要我多少的时间？？就一个半小时左右。

试想想如果我什么事都那么的讲究，那我三个小时都做不完我的事了。。这里不干净从洗，再洗。。再想想，你洗那么的干净有用吗？？那些鸡和鹅过了几秒又把它给弄肮脏了。。白费功夫。。

忘了补充，就我一个人做。。。

所以，有时呢，做事就得过且过。。但是，还是有些东西是要很谨慎的。。

on fire

I’m a little bit on fire today. Damn it.. those ppl juz keep on adding oil on the flame. Hello, wat’s wrong with you guys?? Do I look too tame to u guys?

In the morning, I’m piss off with my colleagues. Hello, you are juz a worker here. Wat right u have to question wat your boss Is doing? I don like ppl who criticize my bro and my mum in front of us. No no no, shud say I don like ppl hu critic my family members, unless I ask u personally. Or else, back off please, don tell.

Later, somemore keep grumble abt my laptop, wat’s wrong wit it. If u don like, u could have stop using my one. Stop criticizing my babe as well.

At evening, those language centre ppl come and then wanna try to find business here. Wanna ask my bro to learn wor.. wow.. no way man. We are even planning to stop giving him tuition, wat’s more to give additional class. Which mean more babysitting-driver-time-consuming?? The biggest problem is not taking him to tuition, but, he is not interest in studying. Then why force him to? Useless right?

Plus, I am not satisfy with that language centre at all, since they keep asking feedback, well here I go. I’ll just tell u how I feel, since u ask for it. I’m being very moody for the whole day, yet, got ppl so stupid come and korek lubang for me to shoot them. But honest speaking, I really think I learn nothing much from the centre lo, my English standard still tat poor. If this is wat 2k pay, mayb u guys shud reconsider read my blog again and have a look on my English. I feel like 2k is like dumping the money in the ocean.. woo… I rather spend on braises as I did now….

If this is the case, I think spending money on braises is the thing that make me feel worth it. I really satisfy lo. I do think spending so much on the language centre is so waste.. regret so much.. I should have use these money to learn piano or learn Japanese language instead.. or mayb belanja my fren eat also can. Or can go overseas with me fren.. woo.. 2k ar!!!

That consultant also very funny eh lo, wanna hear my honest response, yet, she is not satisfy with wat I say. Saying if this is the case, then they couldn’t have survive for so long. Mayb she could have reconsider making a survey on how many student tat continues the study to higher level. Yet, my personal commend could not represent wat they really are.

矛盾中。。

曾经，我背叛过你。

没有守着我们的约定，离你而去。

为何，你还告诉我你在想我？？

是真的还想和我在一起吗？

两年半了，时间过了那么久了，那段情还没断码？

为何你不去找个更好的呢？

别再浪费你的时间了好吗？

我真的怕了，好想躲起来，像个乌龟一样，躲在自己的龟壳里。

有时真的很感动，但是又怕是自己自作多情。。

又怕再次被骗。。

或许该好好的把我的情绪给收藏好。。

同个时候，又会有些渴望。。

好矛盾哦。。。。。

motivation

oh god, exam is just around the corner, yet, i'm so demotivated right now. i don feel like reading at all this 3-4 days. so, basically, i'm lurking around in facebook and updating my blog..

i need to get out of this izzy-wissy-no worry-plus-no worry mood away from me.... N it need to be F-A-S-T!!!!

actually, i'm trying to repair a broken bridge. that is why it keep me on9 this few days. i'm actually checking for mail and stuff like that. especially on yesterday...

( Yesterday : it was raining like hell with thunder storming like no one business. i'm scare of the thunder sound, so is my little bro. so both of us hide ourselves beside our mum.. Mummy... H-E-L-P, actually, i'm wondering as well, something when mummy is scare, who is there for her??)

right now, when i check back what i had wrote, i think i left out something which i forgotten to mentioned to you. i wouldn't had mind to have a meal together with your fren, but at least, you shud had told me this b4 hand, it's kinda respect, i suppose. N even if this is a so-call-suprise, you shud had an explanation to me after someone pop-out-of-thin-air.

it is rather obvious that i have not being able to forget what had been done to me 3 year ago. it is like a stain and wouldn't be able to be remove.

but all this is past. future lies ahead of us and waiting for us. past shud remind us to be aware such incident being happen again.

future should be full of hope and no one know what is going to happen in the future. however, right now, at this point, at least, i knew that my final is starting 2 days away from now.

so wat are you WAITING for???? STUDY LA!!!!

低落的心情

前几天，和家里的某某人吵架。气，真的超级气的，结果就一边哭，一边驾着我的小绵羊去P.I.S.A 去找我的朋友。我很没有用吧，跟人吵架就会哭。讨厌吵架。讨厌这么爱哭的自己。

本来，我还会呕气个两三个星期，但是，老妈一语惊梦醒人。我可以把那些话当作是爱管闲事，也可以把它当作是关心的话。所以，我就这样气消了。

现在我的脑袋还装着个大大地烦恼，大考要到了。。烦死了，我好讨厌考试，讨厌猛K书。

鸭嘴帽

坐在缺乏光线的观众席里，
在后边的我，
静静的等待着今晚的演出。
也只能静，
只因为怕我的声音被录了，
话说我的朋友充当了，
今晚文娱的摄影师，
而我选择了坐在她旁边陪伴她。

节目开始了，
我也得更静了。

主席致词之际，
有个带着鸭嘴帽的人，
坐在我前两排的座位。
他的鸭嘴帽，
加上他身穿运动休闲装，
不得不让我多凝视他的背影，
体形的不符，
我知道他并不是他。

表演终于开始了，
来了这场文娱，
我预备了我的泪水，
因为今晚的主题是‘家。圆’。

前两场剧，
我是有些感触，
表演者的台词很熟悉，
那些曾经是我的心声，
内心的叫喊。

但偏偏在场的男士们，
都很破坏气氛，
妈的。。。。!@##$
也因如此我才在想；
是不是男人都比较短命?
或许吧。

也在发呆之际，
我又再次不自觉的偷瞄那个背影。
的确很相似，
也是很怀念的背影。
两年我只能在远处的凝视，
如今也是。

掌声和在座们的吵闹声再次；
把我的注视拉回舞台上。
看到台上们卖力的表演者，
真的很感动，
你们的付出是真的，
回忆也会真实的烙印在心里。

我也很感慨，
曾经为了另一个他，
呆呆的望着他伸出的手，
也一个人躲在角落看着，
朋友们尽情的挥霍着她们的青春，
为她们的生活画上了一页页的回忆。

错过的，
挽回不了，
就让它沉睡吧。

busy days

currently i'm totally stress up. at first i tot that after major i would be very happy since i'll be studying finance which suppose to have calculation most of it. but it seem like i'm wrong in one sense. coz it involve a lot of theory which in turn trigger more headache.. damm it....

i intend to have a free year 3 life in uni so i try to squeeze in as many unit as possible within this sem as well. i took max unit of 20 in total as wat i did in previous sem. thot it would be the same after all. but. once again, reality has proof to me tat i'm wrong again.

there is way too many midterm and assignment as well as quiz.. on9 quizz which i can handle.. i almost crack into thousand piece due to stress itself. i have consider whether i shud have drop one of the course. but problem is i have alr brought the book.. wat if the lecturer change the book?? then i would have implicite sunk cost...

so my decision is stay as it is.. although it's very hectic this sem.. but i do hope i can cope with it. plz... after this sem.. i'll be less burden somehow.. hope lies..

something troubles me....@#$%

i did miss u, dad. somehow, sometime, no always.

ytd, me n my friend were walking into a building where our lecture for microeconomic is held. When we are about to reach the building, i heard someone call 'Phaik Har'. that's strange. from far before i enter the building, i notice there are workers of the construction on the first floor. me notice also that the guy who called my name was the worker with the tattoo on to it one. i though i juz heard it wrongly. but, my friend told me someone juz called my name. so, which mean she heard it as well. Odd.. really odd.

since we are still early for this class, we both decide to go to the bookstore, which locate few block from where we were. so we when, but didn't bought anything.

When we came back, i knew the same guy is talking again. the first time, i ignore it. coz i thot i misheard. now, i keep my footstep slow, i look up to the guy and i knew that i don't know him at all.n

so, who would that be??? i feel threathen. if he is a fren of that bullshit, then wat shud i do? the possibility is large. coz i din know any fren who is doing construction. if that was his fren, he might told him where is to find me during that time exactly. i don wan too meet him anymore. mayb i'm too scare to meet him also.

i'm thinking whether i shud tell my bro. but, i had bring too much trouble to him already. but the matter now is, the more i want to be independent from him and cause less trouble to him, the result always on the opposite side. i feel bad for him, i don wan to be a parasite nor a troublemaker, i just want to be his good sister. How could that be so hard to attain??

可口的红豆冰

和一班朋友等待着八点钟的课，无聊之余就看了隔座友人的手机相片。看着看着，就看到了她所拍下的一张照片。在今年的新年倒数间，我的友人跌了一角，脚上有个伤口，而且还拍了下来。怎么知道，在我令一边的朋友竟然觉得那是红豆冰。她把血块当成了冰加红糖水，而白色的药膏成了冰凉的冰霜，至于黄色的脓就是粟米酱。真是笑死我了。