thing changes

i still bear in mind that when i 'm a kid, i hardly talk with my grandma. the only time where i could have a very clear picture is when my parent when to kl. that happened when i'm in primary year 5. that is the year when my father had been diagnosed out that he was a cancer patient and need to undergoes lasertherapy.

at that time, my grandma came to our house to take care of me and my younger brother. previously, i thot that my grandma don like me. it happens that this is the truth as my mom approve my prediction. however, i still love my grandma. during that 2 years, grandma is one who take care of me. day by day, i would have hot herbal soup when i walked back home. how sweet is that and i alw belive that it's that herbal soup which make my body stronger and get to see the doctor lesser. this habit make me prefer to have soup included in my meal.

eventually, my dad pass away. then my grandma goes back to her own position again as we have my mom back.

it alw seems to me take that my grandma are someone who is very strict and quiet. but now she is somehow, different.

the moment when my grandma knew that i being cheat by tat guy, she phoned me. actually, i felt very embarassed. i didn't know how was i suppose to meet up my grandma again as well as my cousins brother sister. i try to avoid meeting them. luckily, we didn't have any gathering and my cousin sister was having her spm, so we all met rather late. by the time we met, i'm somehow a little bit more brave. ha =]

we actually met when we are doing 'tang yuan' at my grandma house. still, i feel a little bit odd, embarass and shy to be in there. yet, i'm glad that no one did mention anything about it. that day, my grandma look at me with her face stick so close to me. i'm shock n it's funny. she smile at me. i could always remember that expression.

then, 2 days back, i bring my mom to grandma house again. this time, she touch my hair!! what a suprise!! then i heard it clealy from her mouth. this time, she know that that bullshit cheat my money as well. i knew that she love me and she feel so hurt that i'm being fooled. i try to tilt my head and see my mum reaction as i'm sitted betweeen them. i saw tears in my mom eyes, i observe her facial expression. i know she has been trying her very best not to drop it as much as i do.

i felt so sorry for everyone of my family members. you all suffer because of my fault. i felt guilty as i bring so much trouble to all of u. why should i be that sturborn and not listen to you guys?! what have i done. i have been punished now. and i have to be strong inside myself. i shouldn't have let the past traumatise my present.

shall we all awaits what challenges will i be undertaking?!